no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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