I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
