bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
