U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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