Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
