im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
