Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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