just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
