Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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