shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
