Your mouth is God's brothel.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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