That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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