yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sober January is a disaster.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
