Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
