Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Terrible idea I love it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
