Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
