Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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