I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
