Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
