There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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