I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
