Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
