google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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