She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
