How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You work out of a Hotel?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
