On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
