this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
