I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
