beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
