guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
cat food counts as protein by the way
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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