So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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