You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
