Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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