Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
