im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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