after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
