Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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