Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
