Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
