I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
