listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
