it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He shit in the fireplace
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
