i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
