I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
