i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
