whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
