My brain says no but my pants say off.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize