so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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