you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
