we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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